Questions That Need Answers After Reading Christmas Cupcake Murder

I promised a review for Christmas Cupcake Murder in my last post, but honestly, the book was so bad, I don’t know if I could adequately articulate how much I hated this book.

As opposed to leaving you all hanging, I have a list of some of the many questions I had while dragging my feet to finish this.

I thought this book would be a nice Christmas treat, but not even a book filled with recipes could get the bad taste this left out of my mouth.

Straight From The Publisher

As December turns Lake Eden into the North Pole, the heat is on in Hannah Swensen’s kitchen to honor two Christmas promises: baking irresistible holiday cupcakes and preventing murder!

While Hannah speeds through a lengthy holiday checklist, drama in town grows like Santa’s waistline on Christmas Eve. Her sister Andrea wants to stave off the blues by helping out at The Cookie Jar, Michele’s love life is becoming complicated, Lisa needs Hannah’s advice, and Delores has a Christmas secret she’s not willing to share. But nothing dampens the holiday mood more than the chilling mystery surrounding the man found near death in an abandoned storefront two doors down from Hannah’s bakery . . .

The befuddled John Doe can’t recall a thing about himself—except for his unusual knowledge of restoring antique furniture. With a smattering of clues and barely enough time to frost Christmas cookies, Hannah must solve a deadly puzzle that could leave her dashing through the snow for her life!

10 Questions That Need Answers

  1. How does Hannah manage to keep The Cookie Jar open when she spends much of the book giving away her goodies?
  2. Why is this book called Christmas Cupcake Murder when no one gets murdered?
  3. How do they manage to make dialogue about baked goods so nauseating?
  4. Why is everyone in this town so earnestly obsessed with this stranger? It’s weird, like, get a hobby.
  5. Did they really just say Hannah’s father babysat her and her siblings while their mom went out? Last I checked, that’s called parenting.
  6. Wait a minute, are they eating cupcakes for breakfast? They might be on to something?
  7. And also, who decided this book is a mystery, cozy or otherwise? It’s a glorified cookbook. And yea… there’s a mystery in there. Somewhere…If you squint hard enough. Probably. Maybe…
  8. Are we dealing with adults or 13-year-old super sleuths who solve mysteries during study hall? Because I—
  9. OMG, did they just refer to this guy’s severe memory loss as a riddle? This has to be a live-action game of Clue. Also, when was the last time I played Clue?
  10. This book can’t get any worse. Can it?

Spoiler Alert: It could, and it sure as hell did.

I’ll leave you with this. I’ve watched Blue’s Clues episodes that were more challenging than the “mystery” of John Doe. Perhaps I set the bar too high, but I thought cozy mysteries meant wholesome, not boring.

If you read this book (or any cozy mystery), I’d love to hear from you. Are they all this bad? Or did I just receive one of the not so great ones?

Thank you, NetGalley and Kensington Publishing Corporation, for sending me an electronic copy of Christmas Cupcake Murder in exchange for an honest review.

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